Every proposal should be chaperoned by a huge furry mascot. The mascot can serve dual purposes. If the girl says no, the mascot will put his furry arm around her (ex) boyfriend and quickly escort him to a private, padded area. If she says yes, he will do cartwheels and pour a tub of Gatorade on the happy couple. It’s a win-win. Also, ladies: Do yourselves a favor, and always dress up for sports. You never know if you’re going to a basketball game to eat nachos and get drunk, or to stand in front of thousands of people and be proposed a lifetime of marriage.
Archive for April, 2009
Bloginator wedding ring
Apr. 27, 2009
This is a ring that will always remind me and my husband of all the late nights we spent up chatting online – wayyy before we ever met face-to-face. *Sigh.* Those nights really were amazing. I look at the ring and think about how those chat sessions were so much better than actual married life.
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Every American little girl's dream…
Apr. 24, 2009
Look closely at this photo. Is it just me or is there something going on between the groom and Minnie Mouse? I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t think it was true. There seems to be a connection there. I know a tawdry affair when I see one.
Awesomeness by krhgiles
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The Hell themed wedding?
Apr. 22, 2009
When my fiance asked me where I’d like to get married after he proposed, I
went with my gut instincts. “In Hell,” I told him.
Isn’t Hell freaking awesome? Did you guys check out the layer of smoke at our feet? That was all me. Please do NOT get me started on that pleasant meadow scene behind Death. I specifically told them I wanted a backdrop with a view from Satan’s throne. Clearly there was a mix-up, but whatever. My fiance’s jacket is the perfect length, don’t you think? We’re giving out
custom Ouija boards to our guests, and I cannot wait to cut into that blood red coffin cake.
This is the happiest day of my life. Death, let’s DO THIS!
Awesomeness by Tacky Weddings
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Bikini Bride
Apr. 20, 2009
I made an arrangement with my fiance when we got engaged: If he gets to implant hair plugs, I get to wear an embellished bikini to the wedding. It’s something I’ve been dreaming about since I was a little girl. A bikini covered in beautiful flowers made of tissue paper, paired with Rack Room f***-me stilettos and a gorgeous, flowing train. Luckily, he was into the idea!
Everything came together spectacularly. The parking lot we wanted to rent for the ceremony was available, my tan came in even, and Hooters even had a cancellation so we were able to secure an awesome venue for the reception. Plus, none of my ex-husbands showed up. Simply perfect!
PS: Serious Side Note: Does this chick not look exactly like Heidi Montag if she’d gotten married in her usual day-to-day attire?
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Cake Wreck
Apr. 14, 2009
As a former wedding caterer, allow me to walk you through the conversation that ensued between the groom and the guy who set up that cake table:
Groom: Dude. WTF. I have cake all over me. That thing cost me like $500.
Caterer: I’m SO sorry. I really thought I’d kicked out the leg of that table.
Groom: My wife just asked me to kick out the legs on your body.
Caterer: Hey man, at least you’re getting laid tonight.
Groom: True.
How does this work?
Apr. 13, 2009
I can think of just a FEW outfits more appropriate to wear at your wedding than this one:
1. Hazmat suit (with a velcro veil, obvs.)
2. Xena: Warrior Princess
3. Bedazzled garbage bag
Awesomeness by Tacky Weddings
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Recent Objections
Bridey on Wartime Wedding Gnome de Plume on Anarchy in the U and I kedi on 25 Awesome Wedding Propos… Gnome de Plume on Heidi Klum and Seal to Sp… Brian E. on 25 Awesome Wedding Propos… Print on Demand
