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Archive for December, 2009

2009: Ur Doing It Wrong

Dec. 31, 2009

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It’s New Year’s Eve, so it’s time to make a few important resolutions.

Super Bridzilla!

Submitted by: dunno source via Submit Page

Next year, remember to stand your ground. Don’t let Bridezillas walk all over you.

129065092682034257Submitted by: dunno source via Submit Page

Keep it classy in 2010. Don’t walk down the aisle – or even down the street – looking like a groupie from the ’87 Slippery When Wet Tour. Also don’t affix your veil to a porkpie hat. Or any hat. Or to your ass.

129054630064958015Submitted by: dunno source via Submit Page

Maintain a sense of humor. Life is not meant to be taken so seriously.

Use wind machines with caution.

129065301877143937-1Submitted by: dunno source via Submit Page

Finally, remember to be yourself in 2010. Cuz even this bride found someone to love.

Happy New Year!!!

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Rings To Show You Care

Dec. 30, 2009

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Wedding bands can say a lot about a couple. Remember the Bloginator ring? Here are some other beauts-that-bond:

Nothing says forever like a ring modeled from a plastic zip tie

Submitted by: dunno source via Submit Page

Nothing says forever like a spray painted ring modeled from a plastic zip tie.

129048667943423510Submitted by: dunno source via Submit Page

This couple was looking for rings with stability, integrity, and quality noise rejection.

129031345976014433Via Offbeat Bride

How much WoW gold those IRL rings cost?!

129048668538892260Submitted by: dunno source via Submit Page

And finally, for the couple who gets under each other’s skin, a pleasant-looking knuckle ring. YOWWWW, that thing looks like it hurts.

Is it rubbing against the bone? Is that a constant reminder of timeless devotion? I know of one couple who’d be into it, but personally I think I’d rather eat glass than get that thing installed.

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Tough Love

Dec. 29, 2009

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Photo Source: Cosmin Bumbut bumbutz.com Submitted by: via Submit Page

Quick Tip for Grooms: Don’t admit the number of lap dances you got at your bachelor party was in the double digits. Especially on your wedding day. Bad move.

Remember, Bridezillas: Violence is never the answer. Unless he really, really deserves it.

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Yep, She Feels Ripe!

Dec. 28, 2009

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Just like fruit, you can tell when a woman is ripe for marriage with a good squeeze.

Submitted by: It’s from my wedding! via Submit Page

If you’re concerned your daughter’s not ready for marriage, just give her ass a firm squeeze. Once you do, you’ll have your answer. It’s like ancient voodoo. 

After you’ve determined she’s good to go, don’t forget to use modern technology effectively to document the day. Otherwise, you’ll look crazy.

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Nice Mustaches

Dec. 27, 2009

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Nice mustaches?

Submitted by: dunno source via Submit Page

I’m not fluent in Portuguese, but I think this translates to, “What God has united man must not divide.” So don’t go thinking it means, “WTF, why is that 14-year-old marrying his crazy mustached Grandmother who seems to be feeling him up?” … because it doesn’t. 

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Merry Christmas!

Dec. 25, 2009

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Time Capsule Wedding Photo!

Submitted by: dunno source via Submit Page

I’d like to make a Happy Birthday shoutout to Jesus, and wish all you readers a very Merry Christmas!  This picture is my gift to all the folks out there who still believe that humans and dinosaurs once co-existed. It’s like a prehistoric nativity scene …kind of. I bet I can guess what their cake topper looked like. 

Related: The Age Of Aquarius

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Now That We're Family…

Dec. 24, 2009

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Extreme Cougar?

Submitted by: dunno source via Submit Page

Hey, there’s gotta be some kind of trade-off for being a ring bearer. I’d say copping a feel on your new aunt’s rack just before she gets married suffices. It’s like a rite of passage for them both! 

PS: Nice faux hawk, kid. Keep it up and you too can be a Sensitive Lord Of The Night. 

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