Like this kid has somewhere better to be.
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“Hey gals, can we uh, wrap this up soon? I’ve got a date with my dad’s secretary in an hour.”
When you’re livin’ large, your dance card is always full.
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“Ugh, not here again. I thought I gave her my fake number last time.”
Life can be so hard!
Hey lady, tell us how you really feel about it.
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Does anyone else hear an animatronic robot yelling in slow motion? “NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!”
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Is he feeding her a bite of cake or getting ready to perform molar surgery?
OR is she deathly terrified of cake? I’m going to pretend that’s what it is.
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Such a dainty woman, eating that massive hot dog with her pinky up. Homegirl needs a fork and knife for that thing. You can either handle the intensity of an oversized hotdog, or you can’t. Simple as that.
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What could be hotter than attempting to remove 47 layers of wedding attire to get it on in the back of a 4-door sedan? Nuthin’ like a bulky crinoline skirt to get you all hot and bothered, 19th century style. I’m pretty sure there’s a reason so many people rent cars like this for their wedding day.
Being a gangsta is about more than just attitude. Especially when it’s your wedding day.
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First, you need guns. A rifle and a couple of 9mm handguns are ideal.
Remember, the couple that shoot things together, stays together.
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Fashion is important, so don’t forget your pinstripe suit.
Being surrounded by an entourage of flappers ladies never hurts. Neither does a little bling.
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Bladow! Street cred just got marital.
Related: Nothing More Gangsta Than A Suburban Bride and Smoke Gets In Your Eyes
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Hey, check it out! It’s a tool marrying a ginormous ball of tulle. Heh. It’s hard to believe that anything can distract me from her dress, but his hair is doing a pret-ty damn good job. Good thing she has a mini-me to help her garner attention.
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Aww. Did you know they made them in miniature sizes? She must be the youngest Bridezilla ever! I’ve seen her before, and she and her “man” still remind me of Britney and K-Fed. I think it’s his awesome hat. Something about it screams “back-up dancer who rather enjoys a Big Mac.”
Related: Birds Of a Feather
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The coffin behind them just illustrates how serious they are.
Unless of course the venue accidentally double-booked itself.
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