Talk about a present that comes with strings attached. Mom & Dad seem like a whole lot of fun! Very, um, supportive. I wonder why they didn’t also gift her a free colonic and an 8-week juice cleanse to get her good and skinny before the big day.
What’s up with the first line: “You are beautiful now.” ?? She wasn’t beautiful before? Why now? Did she just get her stomach stapled? Damn, this card is depressing. There’s a reason Hallmark doesn’t have a “weight loss” card category.
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Copy & paste this:
Wow. Heartless.
FAIL! this was on passive aggressive notes weeks ago.
well not everyone reads that site (me for example)
you fail
Yes. BIG fail. This note was SUBMITTED to passiveaggressivenotes weeks ago and it was intended for that site only. Mhana, rock on for catching it! And sevenmarie, it’s time you broadened your horizons…. passive aggressively.
Who cares if it’s on another site? Fucking idiots.
I agree-this totally fits here and it’s hilarious-mom and dad wouldn’t be coming to MY wedding.
“intended for that site only”? what? you mean … teh INTERWEBS are OUT OF CONTROL! OH NOES!!!11!!!
Verbally abusive parents suck.
Agreed – and emotionally abusive mothers are the worst. I wouldn’t blame Katie if she used the money to buy a sharp wooden stake and a heavy mallet.
I tell you, if I ever find a man desperate/blind enough to want to marry me, we’re eloping in Vegas. No need for a special dress or anything. However, since I am both a fan of Sammy Davis Jr and Star Trek if he can find a Rabbi who does Sammy impersonations and can do the ceremony in Klingon WHILE doing said impersonation – it will be a big bonus!
I might settle for a Vulcan Elvis, however, if instead of an engagement ring he finds me all of the original Alfred Hitchcock & The Three Investigators in readable condiction and hardbacks.
I soooo want to be a guest at your wedding!
Heh, if it comes off like I want – it’ll probably be on Wedinator anyway.
Heck, I’d probably submit it myself! But I’ve got to find a man first.
I agree. After my divorce 25 years ago, in which I lost everything including the kids, my Mother’s only words to me were that I would never get another man if I don’t get rid of my big fat butt. She out weighs me by 100 pounds easily. BTW – I married a CEO six years ago. He likes my size 6 butt.
I’m a lot bigger then a size six. LOL
Seriously though, my mom’s always on me about my weight and how I’ll never find anyone. Nevermind that, while she’s 20 pounds lighter then me, she’s also several inches shorter (I’m 5′ 3″, she’s 4′ 11″) so we look visually about the same weight. Plus she’s the one always buying ice cream or other fattening snacks and getting mad if I don’t eat them.
I decided to take up golf for the excercise. Cheaper then a gym membership and no sweaty butt prints or black mold like in my old gym. Instead of being supportive mom launched in about how I have a massive double chin and claimed my golf shirt doesn’t cover my stomach. (I checked, it does.)
Yow! Nice parents. Not. As if weighing yourself once a week and getting notes from your ‘rents will “help with the stress.”
Well, it’ll help *produce* stress.
“Your fat and if you ruin that dress you out of the will” There I fixed it.
Source: Passive Agressive Notes
http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2010/04/28/this-gift-might-help-with-some-of-the-pre-wedding-stress-or-not/
Thank you! Now sourced!
“To help insure our wedding dress investment”?!?
Poor Katie. I hope her intended is better at showing love and support.
Maybe she used to be anorexic??
First thing you do with anorexia patients is ban them from the scales – they’re only allowed to weigh themselves in the clinic. So I really, really hope not, since it’d just be reinforcing an obsession with weight!
Dear Mom And Dad:
Thank you for your support. To show my appreciation, I’m giving you back the scale money, to help you buy a new computer so you can watch your grandchildren grow from afar. Way, waay afar.
Lovingly,
Your daughter, who’s totally not marrying the first guy she met to start an actual family away from this hellhole.
EPIC WIN!
LOL, Win!!
Wow, absolutly awful, makes me said their are still people like this in the world
Edit: Wow, absolutly awful, makes me sad their are still people like this in the world
1 spelling mistake down, 2 to go.
Awe. Some.
Hint: Just because the vodka company spells it “Absolut,” does not mean that it’s spelled that way generally.
A whole lot of people get confused about “there/their/they’re.” There, their, they’re–feel better?/silly
Same with too/to/two. “Good morning, Conductor! Two to Train!”
Actually, I can’t help but read this the opposite way – That the parents are concerned about the bride’s wedding-induced anorexia.
I highly doubt that’s how they meant it. I would think if they were worried about that, they’d just remind her to eat well and take care of herself.
I read about this in an article about passive aggressive behavior. The worst part? The bride had NEVER been over 115 lbs, so it’s not like she suddenly got thin and her parents were worried that she would bloat back up again. But happily, she took the money and didn’t buy the scales–apparently, this si what she always expected anyway.
‘Some scales’? As in more than one?
‘Insure our wedding dress investment’? You can get fat bride insurance?
Stuff like this makes me thankful for my neglectful parents, being ignored beats the hell out of dealing with this shit. Can you imagine what the parents will reads like?
Okay, I am going to buck the trend here and say that this could have been phrased much better, and should have been done personally, by Mom alone, and without a card, but that it makes sense for a bride with a tightly-fitted wedding dress to watch her weight between the tailoring and the wedding. They are trying to head off a major disappointment. That’s all it is. I assume that Katie didn’t take this well or her card wouldn’t have ended up on the internet. And I assume that she then repaid her parents the cost of the dress and anything else they paid, and took responsibility for her own big wedding’s big expenses. She’s not a kindergartner…she’s a woman. This is her day. If she wants to get all sensitive about advice her parents offer, then let her pay for everything herself.
I hope she repaid her parents, too. And then sat them down and told them gently that she isn’t a Wall Street corporation, and doesn’t want to be “invested” in. And invited them to attend the wedding, but told them that they need not worry themselves over the planning, because she had it all taken care of.
And then kept her exposure to them to a minimum. Her mental health would be better off for it.
Ok look I have been a seamstress for 7 years and and I know how to fit wedding dresses for a woman of any size. her parents shouldn’t have been worried about her gaining a couple of pounds before the “big day” a woman looks good with meat on her bones.
What they said was just straight up cruel and wrong, I hope she shoved the scale up there asses!
You’re the mom [or dad] who sent that card, aren’t you?
Maybe she had recently lost a large amount of weight and then had her dress tailored, and her parents were concerned that she would pork out before the wedding and then the dress wouldn’t fit. Still, someone with weight issues would undoubtedly already own a scale… But regardless, the wording of the note was indeed passive aggressive and with parents like that, no wonder she has an eating disorder.
She was 115 pounds at the time. I sincerely doubt she was going to balloon up soon.
omg, that poor girl! Let’s just hope she gets her revenge when dear ol’ “mom & dad” need a nursing home and she chooses accordingly! And I hope she doesn’t forget to tell them to lose a few pounds in their frail dotage so she can fit them in a smaller sized (cheaper) casket when they finally snuff it.
No wonder kids get eating disorders with lovely “supportive” parents like this!
Ha ha ha! Win on the casket comment!
Nope, my vote is for cruel, emotionally manipulative mother who has to try to control every part of her child’s life.
Mom is probably fat as a house, and is jealous her daughter is healthy. (115 lbs as stated on the PAN website) Additionally, I’m also willing to assume Mother’s married life was never satisfying and is projecting on her daughter.
Yes, when you buy your wedding dress, you worry about whether or not it will fit when it gets here. You do this WITHOUT someone else’s help. Right after you get your new shiny engagement ring sized, people start suggesting diets. The bridal magazines are resplendent in slim down, firming up diets, have you tried????? When girlfriend went to try on her dress, she was probably shocked to find that her size was like four sizes bigger on account of the fact that a size six magically ends up in a size 14 or so in wedding sizes. That’s enough give a girl a complex. There are special aerobics classes and personal trainers for brides who want to have toned arms, abs, ect. To top that off, you’re planning a special day where you are going to be photographed and looked at by all, and in planning this special day, you’re barraged by photographs of models in wedding dresses.
All this, and mom thinks she’s gotta be REMINDED? Further to that, when you order a wedding dress, they usually make you order a size up because it’s easier to take it in than it is to let it out, and also to allow for the fact that yes, you MIGHT gain some weight.
I wouldn’t have bought a scale… I’d have bought a gun, and I’d have called off the wedding and eloped.
very true about the sizing.
what were they hoping for. a daughter that stays a size 3?
For all we know, this could be the second or third dress her parents have bought her, for weddings called off due to obsessive weight gain. Still, if that were the case, maybe a face-to-face conversation and therapy would be a better route than a note.
Thanks for the link to passive-aggressive notes – had never heard of it. Since divorcing my ex-husband I don’t get to read those anymore.
“SCALES” plural? How many does she need to reassure herself she’ll never be good enough to please those parents?
Oh, and bonus FAIL for the “of your choosing”. Gee, how generous.
Honey, use that money to buy yourself a bottle of wine and a cheesecake!
only beautiful when thin. dang that is sick.
looks like the parents only love her when she is thin. hate to see what they would do if she put on a few pounds…… most likely would disown her….
can this site have a ‘like’ or ‘unlike’ button? I know facebook is metastasizing quickly, but i wanted those buttons so much for this post and some of the comments!
ie, UNLIKE.
Wow, my mother did the same thing actually…
I think this means “stop starving yourself.” The “you’re beautiful now” makes me think they’re telling her she’s lost enough weight and needs to take care of herself. It’s still tactless but I think it came from a good place. I hope so anyway.
Nope, they didn’t want her to “get fat.”
I hope somebody links this page to her evil wench of a mother.
Geeze! I can’t believe everyone here trying to make mom out to be the loving parent concerned for the welfare of her self-destructive daughter. This sort of passive aggressive crap is responsible for making kids self destructive. As a wedding photographer I’ve seen enough of these manipulative moms and as one who has counseled young people for years I have zero patience for it. I’ve seen too many kids, pumped up because of an accomplishment they’ve worked hard to achieve only to be shot down by the catty comments of mom or dad.
Holy cats, my mother is just like this! After I lost some weight she said, “Your face looks almost normal now.”
If there is any justice in the world, then this bride sent a letter back saying, “I’m sure I will indeed be a beautiful bride – too bad you won’t be there to see it. Here’s your money back. See you at your funeral.”
My friend’s parents were like this!! Sadly, she died from heart failure due to anorexia. Also, they should shut the f up and go back to school and take some spelling classes. Idiots. Guaranteed they are from another country . . .
Hallmark does indeed have a weight loss category, though I think it’s supposed to be more congratulatory than encouragement.
This is why child beauty pageants should be banned. And their parents burned at the stake…
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Wow. Makes me glad my mother isn’t like that. When I decided to lose weight, it was because I wanted to. My parents have been very supportive. That mother needs a serious slap in the face.
The last time I bought someone a gift (and every SINGLE time before that!) it wasn’t an “investment.” I don’t think these parents give true gifts. They give baited hooks.
bet you that the man is gonna find the evil mother in law sites a year to 5 years from now. and be a regular member of them….
one guy is. he noticed how his wife’s parents treat her and it breaks his heart over it.