Submitted by: artwhoreforhire via Submit Page
That looks really……special. I don’t know how a ring that big fit on that tiny little pillow, but I’m pretty sure that’s beside the point. The real point is: WTF is going on here? Is anyone else sadistically reminded of the Lindsay Lohan/Vanessa Minnillo photo shoot? Why is the groom the only one allowed in formal wear?? So many questions.
Related: S&Marriage, We Know Who’s In Charge Here and Serious About Serve and Obey
-
-
Copy & paste this:
Looks like a Gorean wedding.
Yep. That’s a Turian collar, anyway.
It’s a collaring – BDSM. He’s the dominant, she’s the submissive. Not a wedding, but some BDSM types consider it more binding than a wedding.
It got posted! Awesome. Yeah Found this one randomly. I always wonder how these people get friends and family to witness/ be involved in their “bedroom weddings”. It’s like forcing everyone to witness your sex life.
well, usually they invite other people who are aware and involved in their lifestyle already and want to share in their commitment to one another.
I was wondering what kind of an idiot would mock something that he doesn’t understand. Thank you for enlightening me.
And judging from your knee-jerk defending of the bedroom role-play and the fact that your nick is improperly capitalized (taken alone, it means nothing. Taken with the former, it leads to interesting logical conclusions) you must be even worse that the kind of idiots pictured. I wager that you’re one of those on-line Gor people, who talk to their “Doms” by improperly capitalizing things such as You, He, and such no matter where in the sentence they lay, nor respective to actual rules of English.
I’ve read the books. I’ve researched Gor. And I still realize it’s fucking stupid bedroom role-play taken too far when people try to claim it’s some ridiculous “alternative lifestyle”. It’s no more a damn “alternative lifestyle” than when someone dresses up as a naughty nurse and the other as the patient. Get over it.
Sounds like somebody has been turned down by all the subs he’s propositioned.
Let’s see, you automatically assume that I’m male (given that nothing about my name or post identifies my gender, I can only assume this is either based on the fact that the last thylacine, which is pictured in my avatar, was named Benjamin, or that you’re make one of those infamous knee-jerk reactions), you assume that I’ve propositioned subs, and that I’ve failed.
Well, I’d half expected accusations of being a left- or right-winged religious nutcase like the infamous kid with the sandwich-board sign condemning everything and everyone, so I suppose it’s the lesser of two stupids.
“or you’re make.” Well, there goes my street cred with the hip linguistics gangs. Cunning linguists 4 LIFE, YO.
Taken that you give a damn….
yes, it is a collaring, and it would be no problem filling the room with “friends from the lifestyle”, and no, this is not the ceremony for mom and dad
Actually, I happen to disagree with that statement. Having been in the lifestyle for over 16 years, I have found that my mother was one of my biggest supporters when I finally “came out” to her as a Dominant Male who likes to have women submissive to him.
Only when we as a group stop abiding by the imposed rules of the social “norm”s will we begin to truly experience the freedom which comes with being who and what we are.
No one forces anyone. Everyone there is consensual. They are not witnessing their sex life. They are witnessing their lifestyle and accepting it for what it is.
It’s a way of life, not bedroom banter. This pictures is beautiful…
Even in traditional Western weddings, there is a great deal of symbolism that involves sexuality.
this is actually a collaring ceremony.
It is actually a wedding, with a collaring ceremony. http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://blogs.tampabay.com/scene/images/2008/08/18/wedding_3.jpg&imgrefurl=http://blogs.tampabay.com/scene/2008/08/index.html&usg=__gu7c__wS5fya_0BD9j3wh7C1mdg=&h=632&w=420&sz=147&hl=en&start=5&um=1&itbs=1&tbnid=0Af_88JMuxJXqM:&tbnh=137&tbnw=91&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dcollaring%2Bceremony%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26sa%3DN%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-US:official%26channel%3Ds%26tbs%3Disch:1
Actually, I want to know what else was going on at the time that caused the ring-bare-r girl to look slyly to the left of the photo? Kinky rice games? Locomotion train-rides? Receiving line roulette?
More importantly, what is she holding?
I think that’s the ring pillow. Though I don’t know if it was intended to hold the ring or the collar.
I thought she was holding a pie at first. I’m disappointed, as it appears to be a pillow. The pie could have been kinkier.
Her name is Paris Kennedy, aka Mistress Paris. She has an awesome website.
Umm, that is incredibly hot. I have seen a few collarings, but nothing so formal and elaborate. I wonder if she’s combined her collaring with her wedding?
That’s certainly what it looks like. What a wonderful thing to do!
Looks like a master/slave type thing. It’s the collaring, which is more common than one would think.
I’d also like to point out that the groom is NOT WEARING PANTS.
How can you tell? The girl is in the way.
Looks to me like he is wearing pants; you can see black material behind the woman, just where pants should be…
you can see his black pants, you’re confusing her bare arms crossed behind her as him having no pants
To each their own. All I know is that if someone asks me to be a bridesmaid I’d better make damn sure that she wants me to wear a dress instead of lingerie. This would be an awful thing to get sprung on by a co-worker or my boyfriend’s sister or something.
They usually only ask people “in the scene.” So don’t worry.
Actually, after some of the weird-shiny-colors and fairy-tale-from-hell dresses I’ve had to wear at friends’ weddings, I’d be relieved to get to wear lingerie for a change. At least it’d be something I really COULD wear again.
why can’t the people who are so open about their sex lives/into this kind of stuff at least be attractive?
Everyone I can see in the photograph is more attractive than average, IMHO. “Attractive” is a matter of opinion, taste, whatever you want to call it, not a constant, objective measure.
I agree, I would have loved to be there myself …
(the reception must have been a real blast)
Because people who are attractive by mainstream standards don’t need to do BDSM to thrive in relationships. It’s the same reason you don’t see alot of hot D&D players. Generally, better looking people have higher self esteem and are less likely to need to be either Dom or sub to feel attractive and/or aroused. There are a select few exceptions, but not many, and are usually messed up in the head by some childhood trauma.
People who do this ‘sort’ of thing can tell themselves they are pretty, and that they simply choose not to be part of the mainstream. It’s BS, but perhaps if they say it enough they’ll believe it.
Wow. As an unreasonably attractive person who is into the scene, I’m slightly offended. It seems like you are implying that only unattractive people are into BDSM because its all they can get…. there are a lot of very attractive people in the scene. The scene isn’t appealing because
“they are usually messed up in the head by some childhood trauma.” I had a perfect childhood. Its appealing for many reasons that vary person to person. So yes, there are unattractive and average participants, but there’s a little bit of every kind of person in there. Don’t be so closed-minded
I couldn’t agree more, the people pictured we not unattractive, and people in the scene, do come from all walks of life, all shapes and sizes
(just like in life)
So what if we like more variety than they do, does it make them better than us in some way? I think not. The reactions that some of these people show, is the reason most people tend to have a small group of close friends they share their secret with and the rest of the world sees them as perfectly average, “normal”(as they put it)
people.
Go figure
I have noticed that a lot of people in the scene do not fit normal standards of beauty. However, many do. I don’t think physical appearances can be called a motivator to enter a BDSM lifestyle. Curiosity, open-mindedness, and a willingness to meet new people and try new things are far more important factors in determining just how kinky any given person is likely to get. It might be more accurate to say that traditionally attractive people are less likely to experiment–whether that is because they actually get the sex they want, or because they’re afraid of disapproval, or because they don’t even know there’s anything out there to explore.
However, I must say I hear vanillas complain about their sex lives far more than any BDSM players I know.
ooooh BURN!
This made me laugh out loud.
I dated a male underwear model that played D&D. He had every book, more dice than a casino, and had binders stuffed with character sheets. Somehow I don’t think CK would have had him doing runways, shoots and paid him more than most people make in a year for a few days work if he wasn’t “hot”. Oh, he wasn’t the exception. I’ve seen gamers that would make Brad Pitt look like Susan Boyle.
The rest I won’t bother with, it’s too silly.
Seconding this. There are some very good-looking gamers.
And there are couples who game. I think this is a sexy, beautiful picture.
Wow. Someone’s all wrong. I know a good number of D&D players who are into BDSM as well, many of whom are incredibly attractive and well adjusted.
Your stereotypes are showing, Pluppy. And like most stereotypes, they’re often way off the mark, and screaming them just makes you look like an ignorant troll.
People do not play D&D because they need to escape the horribleness of their lives. D&D, as kiteflying and collecting hubcaps (although a more social one) that friends do together.
One of my favourite actors is actually a D&D player. Do a youtube search for “Dungeons and Dragons” and “Vin Diesel”, and you’ll get an idea of how wrong your statement might be XD
I don’t have much to say about him…
But you must be blind, because she’s quite hot.
And I agree, I think it’s sweet… albeit, a bit odd.
But only odd to me, not to them, and that’s what matters.
Maybe this proves I’m a weirdo, but the only question I had about this, is why on earth is a women who’s having a wedding like this one wearing my grandmother’s shapewear. There are a million deeply innapropriate things she could be wearing and yet she chose the only kind of lingerie that’s inapproprate for that crazy setting. I don’t even think that’s actual lingerie.
Most likely, that’s the attire her husband/Dom required her to wear. There’s much more interest in vintage-style underthings than most people realise.
Perhaps it IS her Grandmother’s shapewear and it’s her something old for the little good luck rhyme: something old, something new, something borrowed…;)
The groom IS wearing pants, actually.
And that would be an eternity collar he’s putting around her neck.
Apparently it took place at “Fetish Con”… I now feel ashamed that I ever lived in the Tampa Bay area…
I’m ashamed that I have to share a planet with close-minded people. Good thing you aren’t one, right?
Collaring. Pretty major deal in the BDSM world. Considered more serious than marriage even (at least today’s marriages). Looks oddly elegant. Though honestly, at first, I thought he was cutting her throat with a golden knife.
..If this Vampire phenomenon keeps up that will be next!
<– thinks it's funny you called it a ring.
sigh… I want one…
Hot. I don’t see what’s wrong with this at all.
@person: Not everyone is a supermodel. Normal-looking people and even people you personally find unattractive have sex lives. Get over it.
Beyond that, though, I think this is touching, that this couple is formalizing their commitment in a world that increasingly takes lightly the concept of commitment. I’d attend the ceremony with no shame at all.
I actually think most supermodels are kind of icky. Too much plastic,not enough realism.
Not to mention that they look like famine victims.
The first thing I noticed wasn’t the pretty eternity collar he’s gifting her with but the fact that her lingerie doesn’t fit. No one anywhere at FetishCon had a white corset available? At least then if her boobs were squished it would be on purpose.
As for the actual collaring ceremony itself, the only one I’ve witnessed was beautiful, nowhere near as formal but beautiful anyway. Just because it’s not your preference doesn’t mean it’s not a valid choice by both parties. They’re not forcing anyone to witness their sex life. No one who’s not already “in the know” would be invited, let alone present.
And for the person from Tampa who’s ashamed- your city made money because some people went to a convention, learned some stuff and spent money. The GOP convention is there in 2012, will you be ashamed of your city then, too?
to each their own, but i would never do this.i feel inside that its wrong, but its not being done to me and she probably wanted to, so…yeah
LOL,what is wrong, it’s a ceremony to promise devotion, commitment, and in most cases exclusivity. (do you also feel marriage is wrong?)
Let’s compare..Hmmmm, they both sound the same… please explain what’s wrong?
Let me rephrase…Not “wrong” but unsettling.
I also disagree with marriage, because if you do love someone, it shouldnt have to be put down on paper.
I wasn’t meaning to offend or upset anyone,i hate doing that cuz it makes me feel stupid and jerkish, but i guess since it’s different to me, im not interested in it.
Echo,
I didn’t mean make you feel stupid, just showing you comparison. Most of the people who consider themselves “moral” and “strutting around” with their moral values, are the ones cheating on their spouses, stealing from their employers, and would turn on you in an instant, if it would get them farther ahead.
Most people don’t realize that there are as many degrees of BSDM, and some are 24/7 slave/master, and others live normal lives and once in a while, add a little kink to keep things exciting.
These people are far less vicious than the moral majority
that makes more sense than most things
BDSM is all about trust and consent. So yes, she wanted to!
Sure looks like a Collaring Ceremony. Lovely.
This is so hot in so many ways!
Glad I wasn’t the only one who recognized it as a collaring!
@Echo- out of curiousity, why do you “feel inside that it’s wrong”? Especially, if it isn’t something you would ever do anyhow?
Am I the only person here that’s read the “Sword of Truth” series, by Terry Goodkind? I understand that this is a collaring ceremony and is kinda standard “in the scene”, but this immediately made me think of those books…
Figures this would be in Tampa.
could have happened any where across the globe (and does)
a beautiful ceremony. blessed be the ties that bind!
I saw this the day it was posted- before anyone else had commented- but hesitated on commenting about what it is due to the inevitable ignorance/flames by some. Glad to see I’m not the only one who thought it was sweet.
About her outfit- it was prob what her Dom required of her.
Sweet? No… odd. Very, very odd.
And you’re so “normal?”
It goes both ways. Things YOU think are “odd,” are “normal” to other people, and things YOU think are NORMAL are freaking ODD to them!
Get out of you closed-minded closest and look around. It’s not THAT scary out here.
I believe that’s Wednesday Harrington being collared by some guy who is presumably now her master with Paris Kennedy and Kimberly Marvel in attendance.
yeah, one of the big things holding me back from getting into bdsm is that it seems like out of straight couples I usually see male doms/female subs. Thats preetttty problematic. I mean do you srsly as a woman want to have a ceremony to honor a man as your MASTER for the rest of your life?
really? I dont understand the world at all. Everyone is crazy.
It’s definatly harder to find a straight male sub, but they do exist… Dominatrix isn’t a sequel with Keanu Reeves in it!
::applauds:: Nice.
the St. Andrews Cross in the playroom, isn’t something I stole from a church…
Yeah, I know a husband and wife where she’s the domme and he’s the sub. He’s bisexual though.
just because you’re a man does not make you Dom. Many females dominate their men, some “switch” which means they will take either role with equal comfort.
and as far as the rest of their lives, if works for them, it may, but no different than weddings, if it doesn’t work out they may split up, who knows.
I will bet money that someone you know has part of THEIR life they don’t share with you, because it is not what what some call normal. There are many out there, only few announce it publicly.
I think it’s a fascinating lifestyle choice, particularly when the man is the sub, as in the west it was/is traditional for the men to ‘wear the pants,’ so to speak. Also, as a woman, I find it interesting because society is moving more and more towards true equality and some people feel more secure in a situation in which one partner is clearly the decision-maker.
I live and teach in the rural south and, being a high school teacher, I am invited to quite a few young peoples’ weddings that would be deemed ‘strange,’ ‘weird,’ and ‘inappropriate’ to those outside of the that environment. I will admit I was shocked (and embarrassed that my skirt was only to the knees
) when I was invited to play the piano at my first ISBaptist wedding, which to my surprise involved a ceremony of the transfer of authority over the bride occurs between the father to the husband and *then* the vows between the couple are spoken. The bride promises to honor and obey the groom–essentially to be a submissive. Many of these young ladies aren’t given much of a choice in whom they marry or whether they themselves want to continue practicing that particular religion and lifestyle. Any pre-wedding sexual experimentation is considered a huge no-no–many share their first kiss in front of their families and friends.
I find collaring actually quite enlightened. They are freely exercising their lifestyle, which, in America, we are all very fortunately allowed to do. What feels right for my husband and me isn’t necessarily right for the neighbors, and vice-versa. The couple both CHOSE to pursue a BDSM lifestyle, CHOSE the partner he/she collars of his/her own free will and CHOSE, given the person’s own personality, the role in which he or she feels most comfortable.
I wish this couple all the joy in the world in their relationship!
Yeah, I’ve been to weddings like that – Baptist family members of mine in California. The ceremony did include language of that sort – directing the woman to be a ‘good Christian wife’ and obey her husband, and all that. Pretty unsettling. But really, a lot of fundamentalist christian women do ‘choose’ that lifestyle and beliefs…I mean it’s a larger discussion about education/access to philosophical variety, to what extent we ‘choose’ how we interpret/interact with the unseen societal norms acting on our lives…
and yeah ive heard the idea that being a ‘sub’ can be liberating in itself…working on your control issues etc…like i said i don’t know too much about it. maybe she has tons of control in everyday matters and he calls the shots in the bedroom (haha, I could get down with that!)
but on first glance i just have an automatic reaction to seeing a woman displaying for all to see a symbol of her obedience to a man…yikes…but if this is a ‘Gorean’ wedding, I’ve looked it up and that sounds terrifying….brainwashing and legal sexual slavery. Scary scary stuff…do women really ‘choose’ that? really want to know.
i think its gross.
Which is your right I suppose. As it’s my right to think you rather closed minded and silly.
I suppose I’m opening myself up to be inundated by criticism for this, but I’m curious about one thing – those “in the scene” of BDSM who jump the case of anyone who says that stuff like collaring is “gross” or “odd,” are you the same ones who sneeringly refer to a “non-scene” person’s lifestyle as “vanilla”?
Truth be told, I’m happy this couple is happy. Would I do that? No. I don’t find sex fun unless (as I read somewhere) there’s some jockeying for position.
thank you for being a bit more open minded than some.
to *me*, people are people. i dont care about the dynamic that others have, that isnt my business. i’m here because TheEngineer and i are happy in *our* dynamic.
oh and i dont type this way as an affectation, i’ve nerve damage to my right hand and being able to find the shift key on the right (or the quotation mark, etc) is always kind of iffy. *shrugs*
I’ve used vanilla, but only as a descriptive term to refer to anyone who is not involved in BDSM. There is kind of an “us” and “them” mentality attached to the term, but it acknowledges the differences between those people actively involved in BDSM and those who either have not discovered it or have no interest. I have never heard it used “sneeringly.”
Though some use ‘vanilla’ as a slur, it’s not as common as you may think. ‘Vanilla’ is not typically used in a ‘sneering’ way. Vanilla is a base flavor, it goes with everything, and everyone likes it.
Some just top it differently than others. You might like strawberries, I might like fudge and almonds, vice versa, etc.
As Alton Brown said, vanilla itself is actually quite exotic, it’s unfortunately become synonymous with ‘boring’ but that really isn’t the case.
I can’t speak for everyone, of course, but that’s the way I’ve always used it.
Now I really, really want a Blizzard. Not the euphamism–a real sundae or ice cream….now this is torture!
many in “the scene” are not 24/7, they lead a normal life, and are known in the community. but once in a while they like something different, no one knows what they do behind closed doors. unless they tell you
It’s no not your business
I actually took the photo. The groom was wearing pants. All the men were dressed formal but the girls were in lingerie (since the bride was the submissive). It was an interesting wedding but at least they were both in love (It was actually more of her idea than his).
Awesome. Thx for that. (^_^)
There are some people out there who are very into this as the perfect/ultimate expression of a Biblical Marriage.
According to the Bible, God made woman from man, to be subject to him, to be submissive to him, to “be busy at home” and to be his helper. The man’s role is leadership, decision-making and bacon-bringing. The wife’s role is obedience, support and children-making.
The core of this philosophy re: Christianity + BDSM seems to draw from Ephesians 5 – “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.” Ephesians goes on to describe the ways in which a husband should love his wife by emphasising that he should love her as he loves HIMSELF, and makes a great deal about the idea that Two Become One (and in theory, both are “subsumed” into the marriage agreement).
Personally, I think THAT’S a load of fewments, but you don’t have to dig very deep into the lifestyle online to start finding this kind of thought process. So it’s actually much more “mainstream”, in the White Anglo Saxon Protestant kind of way, than most mainstream folks would like to believe. Or admit.
Also, from my personal experience? The VAST MAJORITY of participants of the BDSM lifestyle closely adhere to the norms and mores of their neighbors in public and in the portions of their homes liable to visited by friends, family and neighbors. You would never know. Seriously. Never ever suspect.
Could be YOUR neighbors. YOU wouldn’t know.
I am indeed one of those neighbors. Soccer mom, PTO mom, housewife..nobody (including both our families) would ever suspect that me and the hubs enjoy this lifestyle, and the fact that I know my way around a whip.
I think this ceremony is beautiful and I am envious of it.
Beautiful?
It takes away the whole meaning behind weddings – it turns them into something sexual, and not the espression of pure love that it should be.
I have nothing against BDSM – hey, do what you like. Go on parades if you want to. But BDSM is a sexual thing. The whole point of it is that it turns people into the blank titles of dominant and submissive, for the point of pure sexual pleasure. It’s not meant to refer to people as human beings who mutually respect each other.
Of course these people mutually respect each other, but as soon as a sex act-turned wedding is considered sweet, personally I think there is something wrong.
It’s not sweet. It’s not beautiful. It completely misses the point – that weddings are there to unite two people in a ‘wholesome’ way. The thing is that marriage has lost its significance. People get married and divorced all the time (and I do prefer this to being forced to being with someone you hate all your life), and now people ‘personalise’ weddings to the point that it is insanely shallow.
I do doubt that people who do this sort of thing are really – for want of a better word – mature to understand what a marriage should mean. They’re oversexualising yet another thing in this over-sexualised world, that really doesn’t deserve it.
Basically, they’re symbolising that their marriage is being based on sex. Thus they are symbolising that love is part of sex, instead of sex being part of love, as it should be.
Whatever happens in their marriage, this will be in their subconscious.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why we have this site, and why this picture is on there. And I rarely reply to people on this site, so don’t bother (especially if you are not going to read me properly and take things out of context because your instant impression is that ‘ZOMG THIS PERSON IS PRUDE AND OLD-FASHIONED’. Just, remember why you’re here in this first place.
Love is part of sex..sex is part of love…it’s all semantics. If they’re happy with their lifestyle that’s what matters..whether you, me, or anyone else thinks it’s “shallow” or not.
@ Meh
I may or may not agree with you about the significance of sex in terms of specifics, but I’m behind you on the generals. I’m not a prude in any traditional sense of the word, and have spent more time than you can imagine hanging out with nekkid gay men, BDSM couples and various others happy to express their lifestyle “out loud”.
The issues you are talking about though, they go much further than a lifestyle, a preference or anything else: They’re absolutely endemic in our society. Westerners tend to sexualize everything, because sex sells, and everyone is selling something. In addition to trivializing and obfuscating relationships like marriage, they muddy the waters around normal friendships and family relationships. Sam + Frodo does not and has not ever = a homosexual relationship, but people see it because they want to, they expect to, and they have been conditioned to perceive or suspect a sexual relationship when there is strong emotional intimacy.
So while I get where you’re coming from, I actually admire the BDSM people I’ve known who are serious about the lifestyle and the commitment that the collaring represents. To me, they are performing an incredibly powerful act – not “lowering” the purpose of marriage, but “raising” the purpose of sex. Many of these people few sex as one of the most pure, profound and sacred acts you can share with another person. When you’re centering your identity around a role you will assume in a sexual relationship, you don’t really have the luxury of taking it lightly.
I have more respect for a well thought out, well planned, sincerely executed Collaring than I do for the vast majority of traditional Marriages – not because of the subject matter or it’s origins, but because of the committment and intention the participants bring to the ceremony itself.
Of course, I do know some BDSM tools who use it as a kind of Xtreme Dating Service, and I have plenty of happily (traditionally) married, thoroughly committed friends as well.
Also, I am “here in the first place” to create beautiful things and share the things I’ve seen and learned in my life. And because my parents had sex. I’d have rathered they didn’t get married. It was a disaster.
I don’t see the big difference from this and a regular church wedding. You promise yourselves to one another, you declare your love and you say your wows – wich is the premises on wich in principle are the rules and ways you want your life to be based on. This is the same!
In a collaring you explain that you are excusively bound to your Master, because that’s the way YOU want your marriage to work. Most people have specific ways they want to lead teir lives: I have friends who whishes to live in a 1950′s household completely, I have friends that want lives where both parties contribute in everything and I have friends who are married but non-exclusive when it comes to sex. They live differentely than me, but I accept them because that’s who they are. So just as people want to be able to do everything themselves, someone want to give themselves up completely to that special someone.
And shure, BDSM is just a sexual thing for a lot of people, a way to spice things up, but for many it’s a lifestyle/life choice in addition to sexuality.
Look at the look on her face. It’s a moment of pure joy in head-space as he puts the collar around her neck. You can tell she’s enjoying every last second of it. *sigh* Someday I hope to be so lucky!
That’s pretty much what I thought when I saw it…she looks so amazingly happy. I didn’t realize that collaring (can, I guess?) involve a public ceremony, but that’s pretty cool that it’s done that way sometimes. I’m not in that scene, but I’ve been reading up on it lately. The level of trust involved in such a relationship is astounding. It’s very fascinating as an outside observer.
yes, looks like a collaring….. i have been collared 3 years in Sept to my Beloved Master.
i hope their union has been as wonderful.
Also, I have a question, if someone would be so kind as to answer my curiousity. Does the submissive partner wear the collar constantly, as is the norm with a wedding ring, or is the collar worn just around the house/in the bedroom? I know that to each their own, I’m just curious about the norm.
It really depends on the couple. There are styles of collar like the one above, that are fairly subtle and often don’t get a second look when worn outside the home. So some wear them constantly. Others only wear a collar in the home, or other places such as clubs/parties where it’s usual. And then there’s everything in between. So the norm is pretty hard to pin down
Many subs/slaves prefer to. That depends, though, on a lot of things, like the job they hold (I’m a teacher, so wearing my leather collar would be inappropriate), the family circumstances, their own comfort level. Many have more than one collar–one used for “play”, and one that is more subtle for daily wear. In fact, some collars don’t even look like collars at all…a friend of mine has a collar that is basically a regular, “vanilla” necklace. There’s no norm, and it often depends on what the Master or Dom wants.
Who gives a crap, the girl behind her would get it :p
Al Gore has nothing to do with this.
I love how every comment that didn’t like this got immediately flamed by accusations of “close-mindedness”. It’s actually close-minded when you don’t let others have an opinion. Not everyone digs alternative lifestyles, supporters out there should know better than anyone to accept others choices. This isn’t for everyone, so deal with it, and quit attacking people for not thinking like you do.
A lovely collaring. Mine looks similar but not gold and locks with an allen wrench.
And Sir is the only one with formal wear cause that’s the way HE wanted it.
Yay! for you all!
To the person who was going on about how BDSM was only about sex. I’d have to say they’re wrong. It’s also about a profound trust between two people. Isn’t that what marriage is about? Trusting someone so much that you put your life in their hands?
I think one of the problems here is trying to put human nature into neat buckets. Every relationship and set of values is different from person to person (and it can even be inconsistent there). For one person BDSM might be about getting a kinky spanking every Wednesday, for another it might be about female empowerment, the next person might feel that they’re doing something caring and noble. I’ve known some people who’re in it for the kinky sex, others who say they couldn’t live without the power-exchange – its what gives their lives meaning. Everyone is different and for everything that’s do-able you’ll get someone doing it for the wrong reasons and suffering as a result. Just stay safe, be happy and let others do the same.
Advocate, I think your paragraph beautifully articulates this topic–not only for BSDM/collared–but also human sexuality in general.
Your point about putting everyone into ‘neat little buckets’ is something about which I cannot agree with more–we all enjoy our sexuality in more than one way. I loved your final words to ‘Just be safe, happy, and let others do the same.’
I just want to think you for sharing your very wise and articulate opinion on this matter. Thank you!
As a side note, I ran across a a jeweler that does gorgeous work (and I almost NEVER recommend a website in this manner) which includes what he names ‘neck collars’ and can be hand engraved, which is very unusual and a fading art. I can’t recommend him enough.
http://search.jamesavery.com/?top_menu=1&u1=top_nav&u2=drop_down&top_nav=Necklaces&drop_down=Neck+Collar
I love it! We did not have a formal collaring ceremony nor did we have a formal wedding for that matter. I have worn his “ring” aka his eternity collar for many years and only this past December did we decide to make our union “legally binding”. We didnt have a formal ceremony because we wanted both to be about us and between us. Most weddings have lost all intimacy and meaning and are only a huge display of wealth (or stupidity) and a party for all their “so called” friends and relatives in the hope of getting a huge haul of gifts. My best to the Dom and his girl.
PS…. you DONT have to participate or believe in Gor to attach significance to an eternity collar!
That is a lovely wedding/collaring. When my husband and I redo our vows we will be adding a collaring. I can not wait till that day. I find the BDSM community to be filled with the most open and caring people.
All involved in the ceremony look lovely to me, and the clothes that they are wearing are lovely as well.
My husband and I each have a collar from eternity collars. They are lovely, I even wear anklets at all times from that site.
Awwww she’s being collared
hes not dressed normally… if you look to the right of the pic, you see his bare leg
How absolutely beautiful, and incredibly romantic!
The only strange thing going on here is how the girl’s langerie is a lot more decent and more covering than some cocktail dresses in “normal” parties nowadays.
I wonder what happens in these relationships once the couple, if they so choose, have children? That would be fascinating, as would the difference between a societally ‘normal’ couple and a couple that practices the domination/submission lifestyle. What happens when little Johnny says his mommy wears a collar to the kindergarten class? (Please don’t take that in a snarky way, it was not meant in that fashion.) I’m just curious how this lifestyle coincides with family life.
For instance, when the whole family is going somewhere does Mom the Dom drive because this way she is in charge and exerting her power, or does Dad the sub drive because he’s serving his master?
(I should note that those are just the examples I picked and couples can be all sorts of combinations.)
Ok, a few facts.
The woman is a professional bondage model named Wednesday Harrington. Behind her is a professional model named Paris Kennedy and another (whom you can barely see) named Kimberly Marvel. All three of them happen to be friends of mine.
Wednesday and her husband are married and this ceremony took place at an annual convention called FetCon. They are a true dom/sub couple.
The groom was wearing pants.
Does that clear up up all the speculation?
The lady holding the pillow is absolutely beautiful…
Really adore the expression on the bride’s face. She looks serene and blissful to me. She really is the prettiest thing in the pic, imo, and it really gives what they are doing a beautiful, and dare I say, innocent, image.
Thank you for the auspicious writeup. It in reality was once a enjoyment account it. Glance complicated to more added agreeable from you! By the way, how can we keep in touch?
Amazing things here. I’m very happy to peer your article. Thank you so much and I am taking a look ahead to touch you. Will you please drop me a e-mail?
It’s not her. You can see the difference in the mouth, the woman in the collaring photo above has bigger lips than the photo of the girl you posted.
> I don’t watch her films.
Sure, you just read the articles.
I think that could be attributed to lighting and different lipstick. Either way, it’s really close.
I’m not pleasant company, nor do I particularly want to be. I don’t mind the BDSM community. They, at least, don’t lie. All this Gor crap is is kinky bedroom antics gotten out of hand. That’s it. At least the BDSM people admit it’s just kinky stuff. I can respect them for that. Not something I am particularly into, but I respect honesty and truth.
There is no such thing as a Gorean “lifestyle”. The fact that people want to make believe it is I find insulting and demeaning. I’m not into BDSM in general, but at least they are honest.
Stands up and applauds Gothbunny. Thank you for educating the lesser, close-minded people!
I would think you were doing a better job educating the community about sexual/gender minorities if you didn’t use a slur such as “tranny”.
how did you get from this phote, to especting this is gor? i’m probably the dumb one here, but i missed soemthing, cause it just seems like a BDSM wedding.
exactly! while the collar design is what is traditionally used in Gor collaring, it’s not exclusive. that type of collar is very popular among many other members of BDSM lifestyle. also, i find the rest of the wedding to be a little too on the traditional side to be Gorean, so i’m leaning towards just a simple collaring ceremony/wedding….some people do both, a traditional wedding, vows, marriage license etc, and incorporate a collar in with that. so they’re bonded permanently, in all way…..and aren’t just Dom/sub but also Husband/wife.
Thank you, BelleMonte! *bows*
I have transgender friends who refer to themselves as “tranny”. I have Pagan friends who refuse to use the word “Pagan” because of “negative connotations”. I have Christian friends who do the same. I know a few gay men who find the term “gay” irritating and won’t use it. They are “homosexuals”, thankyouverymuch. I’ve got some black friends who will call each other “n****r”, but I wouldn’t dream of doing so. It’s not my place, and I don’t feel it’s appropriate.
I’m good with people who will back me up, even if their language is not what I would use. Those are little things we can work out. But the hate… it’s kind of vast.
According to the photographs on the TampaBay.com blog (http://tampabay.fragmob.com/?method=view.image¶m=56992¶m=142&category=790), it is Paris Kennedy.
yes that’s really Paris Kennedy. I know a lot of people who were at that particular ceremony
Amen. I call myself a stupid wop dego. I love slurs, if we all use em we can get over any hurt that comes with them.
my son is gay and calls himself a fag.. says it is just a word and only hurts if he lets it. He is taking the nasty and making it his own. lol I on the other hand am only offended with it all if it is used in an offensive manner.
Can I just say I love you, MMMichelle? I use slurs all the time, they’re fun. If I had a gay friend who was offended by the word “gay,” oh well, I’d still use it. I’m treating them as if they’re the same as me, not as something completely different whose feelings I’m afraid to hurt.
*waits for politically correct flames*
the world as we know it is too damn PC now. If it’s ok for one then it should be ok for another. After all if you call someone a baby you can mean it affectionately or as an insult.. depends on how it’s used and how you take it. Seems like everyone is looking for fighting words now a days. Either get over yourself or leave. I have too much loving to do to worry about how you misinterpret everything I say. Not you in particular, just you in general.. see!!!!