Submitted by: dunno source via Submit Page
Please no white bathroom towels because the bride’s gigantic hooves tend to get very muddy after a long day in the country. Also, please don’t be alarmed if the bride nays loudly when she opens a gift that she particularly likes. It’s a compliment, really, not to mention a habit. You should have heard her the other night when the neighbors gave us a couples massage at the day spa. Her excitement could be heard for miles!
Related: One Stomp For ‘I Do’, Two Stomps For ‘I Don’t’ and I See London…
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Is Sarah Jessica Parker getting married?
//OK, that’s cruel. My bad.
LOL! Pretty much every guy I know thinks SJP looks like a horse. My wife thinks she’s attractive. I think she belongs in a stable.
So many things wrong with this… if they had this printed why didn’t someone point out the misspelling? Why is the bride’s mother giving two showers in the same day? Why is the bride’s mother giving a shower at all? Why are they registered at Wal Mart? Why do they specifically ask for no white towels ON THE INVITE? Also, WTF???
No white towels, because they get all stained from the pizza grease. And the grass. O.o
They didn’t have it printed, fo’ sho’. Someone got teh clevr with a computer. And fails at typesetting.
Printers require YOU to get the wording/spelling right, just like tattoo artists. It’s not their responsibility to keep you from looking like an idiot.
A responsible printer will point out the error. Most people, when faced with a printed item with errors on it, immediately blame the printer for bad work, not the person who ordered it. Would you really want to be a printer known for letting errors go through?
Um, typo aside, is this sort of unabashed greed really typical these days? “Please come to the shower and bring me not one but TWO presents, and while you’re at it, DON’T bring me any of THAT. In return we’ll buy you the cheapest pizza we can find.”
If I were unfortunate enough to know these people I would send my kind regrets to each and every invitation. You just KNOW that for the next several years they’ll be regifting every trashy item they got that they didn’t want, even if they decided to try it out first.
Unfortunately, it is. I miss the days when I’d open a wedding invite and it was just a wedding invite. Now upon opening the card a dozen notices of where the bride and groom have registered for gifts flutters to the floor.
Or, better yet.. when a friend of ours was married, instead of an invite to the actual wedding.. we received an invite for the second reception. Apparently the wedding and first reception were at her fathers’ country club and any of their friends that were deemed too “low class” to attend were instead invited to a separate second reception the day after. That way the bride and groom could exclude such guests from the wedding without missing out on any presents.
I know – I’m in the process of getting married, and when we sent the wedding invites out without a gift list registry loads of people came back to us and said “um, you forget the gift list registry”. No, we just thought it was tacky to put one in!
As for “second reception”, we were thinking about doing this, but it had nothing to do with presents. It was because we can’t have an evening as I’m chronically ill and couldn’t manage it all on the one day. We just wanted an opportunity to see loads of the friends we don’t otherwise see, and a wedding seemed like a good opportunity to have a big party
And surely a shower is a blatant request for gifts anyway? I couldn’t imagine having a Bridal shower, let alone a household shower?! This is possibly the tackiest invite ever.
Especially both on the same day! Sheesh!
Any mention of types of gifts or instructions regarding gifts often comes across as rude. Reminds me of my dad’s side of the family, milking every occasion (new babies, houses, marriages, graduations of people I’ve seen twice in my life) for money and gifts.
It IS tacky! Kudos to you for breaking a horrid new trend!
I got tacky for you – my husband’s niece sent a list of gifts with her invitation. They were not cheapo gifts, either – they were Crate and Barrel, Neiman-Marcus type gifts – and there were about fifty things on the list. We bought them nothing as a result.
And you are correct – that is as tacky as a postcard for an invite! Got one of those too, but not from a relative!
What is a “Household Shower”? Would I be right in thinking it’s the equivalent of a House Warming? If so, isn’t it more common to hold them in the actual house your suppose to be warming?
Also, I know there are tons of other problems with this invite, but did they really need to specify 3pm-5pm in the afternoon? As opposed to what other 3pm-5pm?
I don’t think it’s a housewarming. Just a shower where you give household items. Like a lingerie shower, etc. But then another shower right after that where the SAME PEOPLE are invited and have to buy another gift. Errr????
And a wedding gift too.
Because writing “in the afternoon” kept it classy.
Klassy, with a ‘k’.
Bridezilla, much?
Also, is that a comma after “put”?
I thought I saw that too. I’d bet these people use the word “conversate” when they want to sound classy for “speak”.
These are clearly home-printed… that “linked hearts” stationery is available at Walmart.
I assume they’ve just moved in together, with their horse. I don’t know. For a little bit, I thought it was a clever play on words… they’re getting married, they’ve moved in together, and their mare just foaled! But the more I look at it, the more I realize… This is American illiteracy in action.
OOH! maybe the bride is into pony play!!! They don’t sell that at Wal-Mart, though.
So agreed! Talk about the greedy nature here – not to mention the need for a serious re-do of the whole grade school education thing…
The whole grammar and spelling is appalling. However, just as bad and tacky are: the mother hosting the shower, the mother hosting two showers, writing where they are registered on the invite, specifying what the gifts shouldn’t be, and expecting two gifts. And you just know they’ll expect a third gift at the actual wedding.
^^^^^This, cubed. The whole thing is depressing.
Hang on, after my previous rant there is another gift involved?! WTF, three is a whole lot of gifts!
I agree with you 100%. I was going to write my comment and read the comments already posted. You said it so succinctly that there is no more for me to write except the ignorance and greed are appalling
I particularly enjoy the seemingly random capitalization on (Please No White Bathroom Towels Is All We Ask) – as if this were the theme of the day, or title of a song or similar.
But yes, these people are illiterate and greedy. This is horrid.
In the UK, we don’t gift the bride formally in a shower-type scenario at all, so to go so far as to shower her twice? Such greed!
Does the groom get showered with gifts too?
This wedding seems like it will cost the guests far more than it is worth…
In the U.S., a bride typically gets gifts at her bridal shower but only her closest relatives and friends are supposed to be invited. Basically the ones who would want to help her out with gifts as much as possible anyways. I have never ever ever heard of a household shower though, I think this bride is a special brand of trashy! Especially having both on the same day and demanding gifts for both!
The groom doesn’t specifically get gifts at a shower but the bridal shower gifts are typically household items that they both would need.
This is sad.
Showers are tacky anyways, as if the bride and groom won’t get enough gifts at the actual wedding. But two showers? Puh-lease.
I Once Knew Someone, From Kentucky. Capitalizing Every Letter, In A Sentence, Seemed To Be The Thing To Do.
A woman I know who considers herself “a writer” does the same thing. Either she’s used to writing for catalogs (notice that they do the same thing sometimes?) or is German (they capitalize all the nouns).
This is sure to be the event of the centaur-y.
….you win Awesomest Comment Evar award!! LOL
You criticize them for misspelling Bridle and then you misspell neigh. Sheesh.
I was going to say the same thing. It’s supposed to be neigh.
I agree. The poster is a hippo critic.
I think it just means that she is having literally a BRIDLE shower for horse accessories, no different than a “Stock the Bar” shower or a lingerie shower. And the no white towels just reinforces this, because anyone who deals with horses is obviously dirty all the time.
Kentucky? Dusty? I think these are just some country folk who are into horses.
I found out after I was married why white towels are not a great idea. My husband used them and I had to do the laundry. I should change my name to Mrs. Skidmark.
Bleach?
Wow, I’ve been married for a long time and raised two sons, but never have I seen skidmarks on my towels(or anything else, for that matter). Maybe your husband just need some lessons in wiping his butt. LOL
Agreed. I’ve never seen skidmarks on my towels either: two husbands, three sons…
Agreed! Basic hygiene goes a long way!
LOL! – Mrs. Skidmark! Priceless!!! HA HA!!!
Wow – 25 years of marriage and eight sons, one daughter later – nothing like that ever.
It is true that brides are not bridle, but it is also true that horses neigh, not nay (unless they vote no on some subject, i suppose).
Glad someone else caught that!
Check out their individual MySpace pages. Explains everything.
Yes, I said MySpace pages.
Love the About Me section where she misspells her fiance’s last name. Also her brothers’ names are a riot. His page is a cliche I would not have believed if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes. Gah.
I checked their Facebook. :p
They are expecting a baby, of course.
So are they just going to sit around at the same crap pizza joint for the Bridal/Bridle Shower? How long are they going to be there??? “Hold on to yer cups gals, in case you’ll be wantin’ a refill for the bridle shower…and save some of those cheesy ranch sticks for later Darlene.”
Did they really post it as being from 8pm to 5pm in the afternoon? It sure looks like it! And beyond the spelling of “Bridle,” why is there a comma after put but no apostrophe after April in “Aprils Name?” And why is name capitalized? Lastly, is it possible that Dusty Burchett is another woman getting married, not to April Allen? Otherwise, why would you need to put wrap a separate gift with April’s name on it for the second shower? This has me so confused!
Did anyone else wonder who the heck is “Reg” at Walmart??
Very much so.
Reg may be the only WalMart employee who can assist in the “horsewear” department.
Ah, that makes sense. But wow, Walmart must be bigger than I’d ever imagined.
shortened for registered guess it was too hard to spell for her mum.
I find it humerous that the owner of this page is ripping someone on their mis-spelling of bridal…and yet they mis-spelled ‘neighs’. HAHA! [Nays...really?]
Pot, kettle, hello? Get a dictionary before you go ripping someone for their spelling errors.
Speaking of Pot/Kettle. . .humerous?
Humerous is totally the spelling of that one bone in your forehead.
Yes, I know it’s Humerus and I know it’s the bone in your upper arm.
See, this is why bridal showers are regarded (secretly by some, openly by others) as just as a way of getting more stuff off people. And baby showers. What’s wrong with wedding presents or christening presents or just paying for your own stuff? And, apparently “household” presents- does that include immersion tanks and stud walls and breakfast bars? Why is every life event an opportunity to get more stuff? See, some people are so excited about the stuff they could gain from what they’ve decided to go they can’t even be bothered to spell-check before they go to the printers, or pay the 0.000% to get the printer to spell-check for them. They’re just too caught up in the whole getting of the stuff to worry. These people are quite clearly holding these showers (I’m from England- we don’t have ‘showers’ here, am I right to assume that’s as in ‘shower me with gifts’?) with the sole intention of extorting as many gifts as they can out of their guests- and all their guests can expect in return is some cheap pizza? Nasty.
Okay, I have laughed SO hard at all of this…. I just had to go to Myspace and see more of the stupidity spewing from this family!!! Some of you mentioned some of the things in the “About Me” section on her Myspace page, there were SO many, I couldn’t list them all, so I copied and pasted the whole thing here so everyone could see it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
About me:
Hey there…
Mostly everyone already knows me by now…
For those who don’t know me my name is APRIL NICOLE ALLEN…
I’m 20 years old and engaged to the most wonderful n amazing guy that i have ever meet…
I’m glad to have such a loving and caring guy like him in my life…
I really love this guy more then life its self…
I love you DUSTY BURCETT more and more each day…
I graduated from Magoffin County High School as the class of 2008…
I have two brothers…
They are ERIC DALE DONALD ALLEN & TERRY VELDON GEORDON HELTON…
I have friends that love me & that would do anything for me…
I love you guys for ever thing you’ve done for me…
I’m a very easy person to get along with…
But once you piss me off you might as well forget it..
Cause their ain’t know second chances & your going to get a mouth full…
Maybe even more…
I love to hang out with my man & friends & just have fun…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Other than the obvious misspellings and huge grammatical errors….. some of my faves are the brother’s names and when she says that her fiance’ is “the most amazing guy that I have ever meet”, but I think the best is on towards the bottom where she says that if you piss her off, you’ll get “a mouth full, maybe even more”….hmmmm…. interesting…..a “mouth full” of what? Doesn’t more than a “mouth full” go to waste? Anyway, I’d also like to add that she mentioned looking at baby stuff, so beware….the stupity is breeding!!! YIKES!!!!!!!
Oh…. and I’m also from Ky…grew up not far from the mighty town of Salyersville…. there are actually SOME educated people from eastern Ky…but I totally understand why most people think we are all just plain stupid…people like this give us all a bad reputation. No hard feelings though….laugh on at the morons, I CERTAINLY AM!!!!
I am pretty sure I found her on facebook…and she says:
“im datin the most wonderfulest guy u could ever ask for…hes always there no matter what goes on in my life n i coulcnt have asked for a better boyfriend than that…i love u MATTHEW FRANKLIN CARR”
http://www.facebook.com/people/April-Link-Allen/1515347522#!/profile.php?id=501560938&v=info&ref=search
I wonder if Dusty knows?
Oh and here’s a gem from Dusty’s myspace page:
“i will ive been meanin to but were drug court wasnt suppose to kno i didnt want em to find out…n i love n miss u 2 my baby…”
It’s hard to decipher meaning from this nonsense, but I think he’s in trouble with the law…winner!
From Matt’s page, they broke up in March, so April got together with Dusty at the end of March (probably!?!?) and they are getting married with baby in June.
When i saw the word “bridle” I didn’t think of horses, but rather the fact that it can also mean “to show anger or resentment; take offense” which is just what I would do if I recieved this invitation.
Oh lord. I looked at his Myspace page… they are procreating! In his pictures there are ultrasound pics labeled “mine n aprils baby!”
I see a string of baby showers in their near future…
Actually, if these people are into S&M pony-girl play, then a “bridle” shower would be highly appropriate.
Am I alone in thinking that these people are just downright greedy?
Really I think one set of wedding gifts is greedy, especially as these days people mostly live together before they marry. How many toasters do people need.
Also, I thought it was two women. But that’s just me, the only person I’ve ever heard of called Dusty was Dusty Springfield.
Registered at Wal Mart? That explains the spelling error.
my comment exactly
Betty’s Pizza..sounds as classy as this couple.
[...] This Bridal Shower Invitation Didn’t Come From the Spelling Bee Champ – wedinator [...]
Hey guys, it hasn’t happened yet! I think everyone should be hungry for Betty’s Pizza on the 26th. Bring sugar lumps for the bride.
Oh! Oh! Do it do it do it!!!
If anyone lives near Betty’s Pizza, please go in and take some photos from the next table for us! That would be awesome.
[...] to Alison for pointing this photo out to us. For more wedding-related fun, have a rummage around [...]
oh, just wait for the Baby Shower. Yes indeed. April and Dusty are having a baby.
I don’t know which is better- that ‘bridal’ was spelled wrong in the invite, or that the commentator spelled ‘neighs’ wrong in the description making fun of the invite. *smacks face*
The only reply to all such invitations is a “Sorry, I won’t be able to attend.”
Nothing less will stop these greedy, ignorant fools!
Not that there is anything wrong with Kentucky, I was born here after all….but it seems only the idiots of our population seem to make the headlines. Someone please shoot me…
Also I grew up on a horse farm so should the “bridle” part be real (which I doubt sadly…) one would know better than to use white towels in or around horses. Just because we are horse people doesn’t mean we are dirty….
A “Household Shower” is kind of like a bridal shower but the Groom and male relatives/friends can attend as well. Its really common in Eastern Kentucky. Usually though, its hosted in place of a bridal shower if the bride (or couple) is from the area.
Registries at Wal-Mart are very common in the area, considering its about the only thing some parts of our state have. In our defense though a lot of “country” areas have only Wal-Mart or less.
PLEASE don’t hold the above against us! Please? Our state is filled with many intelligent people, we just don’t like to make headlines….
The atrocious spelling and grammar didn’t irk me half as much as this couple’s obscene lack of tact did. Demanding two presents for two showers? In one day? Can you at least pretend like you’re holding these for something other than piles of free shit?
Am I the Only one that noticed the times?
It looks like it says 8 (or 5) pm to 5 in the afternoon.
Somthing doesn’t seem right… O_o
Um… it says 3pm to 5pm.
did nobody notice that it’s from 8PM to 5PM in the AFTERNOON????!!!??!? WTF???!!!?
I will never have a bridal shower or any shower..its so tacky to expect gifts especially in this economy i mean really why does everyone expect a reward for something they do..oh i had a baby give me presents or oh i just got hitched lets celebrate by showering me with presents! especially with divorce rates as high as they are people may be giving there friend many presents i know one lady who has gotten married 5 times and expects 3 or more gifts each time and chooses the gifts you get her! and people who turn out like criminals…i wonder if charles mansons mother held a baby shower for him? and how many people regret celebrating his birth especially when you think of all the babys he murdered!such entitlement veiws need to be thrown out…back in the old days people would hold partys for guests to celebrate and not expect or even ask for any gifts and often they would give presents to there guest..oh well so much for being tastefull!
When I saw the two showers and gifting instructions, my immediate thought was that we should pick a gift we like from the first shower, wrap it, and give it back to her at the second shower.
OK so i am very close to this family and just so u guys know dusty had nothing to do with the invitations u guys see above and he dumped that girl like a hot potato not even 4 months after their baby was born simply because she was just to damn nasty for his taste…