This promo for TLC’s new show “The Virgin Diaries” has been going around the interwebs lately. Apparently these two saved even their first kiss for marriage. Once the ceremony is over they engage in the most cringe-worthy liplock you’re likely to ever see on television.
But are these two lovebirds really klueless about kissing, or is this just a reality TV set-up? (You’d think they’d at least seen people kiss in the movies!)
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I think they are trying to imitate what they see on tv and in movies but are failing at it, hence her weird trying-to-eat-his-face kiss… AWKWARD.
Agreed. The first time I thought they were trying to be funny. The second time…
Something tells me there’s a religious angle to all this. The only people you hear bragging about saving themselves this much are usually either fundamentalist Christians or Mormons.
I’m atheist and I’m saving myself for marriage so I don’t end up with STDs and a baby I’m not ready for, and so that I know that whoever I’m giving my virginity to genuinely loves me and doesn’t just want an adventure between the sheets. There isn’t always a religious angle to it, sometimes it’s simply more practical and healthy to abstain.
It is possible that this couple had a religious reason behind it (and if that’s the case it’s really not our business, as long as they’re doing something they feel is right and nobody’s being mistreated or insulted), likewise it’s possible they had a somewhat practical (albeit misguided judging by that kiss) reasoning behind it. Some people want their firsts to be special and memorable, what’s more memorable than having your first kiss with your one and only to be on your wedding day? Not that I would ever decide to do that myself.
I’d say it’s more than possible that there’s a religious reason behind saving even their first kiss. I’m also saving myself for marriage for a lot of practical reasons and I understand your point of view exactly, but I can’t think of a lot of reasons why you would wait on your first kiss outside of religion and very strong sentimentality. Of course, as you said, there is nothing wrong with this as long as it’s a conscious decision. Although perhaps these two should have paid attention to some romantic movies…
I have a feeling this show is going to drive me nuts, though. It’s like pointing at virgins and saying, “Look at this rare and dying breed! Once their kind roamed the world, not-so-wild and free! Watch how they fail at kissing, they are probably all like that. But their way of life is out of place in modern society and so we must watch as the majestic virgin slowly goes instinct…They’re still kissing like that? Damn, virgins are weird.”
By the same token, I hate TLC’s shows on fat people and midgets. Media already makes this people appear weird and disordered without a TV show putting them on display for the world to gawk at.
I feel like most people see waiting as something done “because it’s better” and don’t understand that it does give you the control to make the first time (for sex or kissing) as special as possible. I’ve also had a friend flat out not believe that my desire to wait was a conscious decision; the way she understood abstinence until marriage was that it was something your parents told you to do whether you liked it or not. I don’t want to get in a discussion of abstinence vs. not on the internet, but that is my view on where the negative view of abstinence comes from.
Regarding kissing, I guess I see kisses as much more innocent than some folks. I mean, my first kiss was with the boy next door when I was in preschool :p They have the potential to be a lot less innocent, but not always. So I can understand how your first kiss is very important to you (and you have every right to wait to experience it), but I personally do not feel like I could not wait until marriage for my first kiss. I give my family and closest female friends kisses on the cheek and head, so I would personally find it unfair to withhold at least that from my boyfriend, who is just as close to me.
BTW I think at this point, you and your fiance will have to work hard to kiss as bad as the couple in that show :p
it’s called contraception, dummy. Look it up. You obviously had some shtty sex ed.
Have you seen the failure rates for typical use? Heck even perfect use is a little scary in my opinion. Contraception doesn’t prevent pregnancy, it reduces it. Choosing the only 100% effective method does not make someone a “dummy.”
Chill out. These things are preventable with contraception, etc, but accidents do happen and some folks just don’t like worrying about it. She also pointed out she wants her first time to be very special so accept that she’s got her reasons.
When I was younger I had a boyfriend who was trying to pressure me into a more physical relationship. When I told him I wasn’t ready for it he became abusive.
I want to know that the person I’m giving my virginity to genuinely loves me and isn’t going to treat me like a turd just because I don’t feel like I’m ready to get physical.
Even Mormons believe in kissing.
Yuck!
I went out with a guy who kissed me like that. It’s like a fish gasping for air but with a tongue darting in and out. Suffice to say, he didn’t get a second date.
I think the bride should get a do-over with a different groom– one who does not kiss like that.
#1- they look like they are eating each other’s faces
#2- i think that if you want to save yourself for marriage thats fine but don’t make your first kiss that public…..practice first
Seriously! This is the first time we kiss, it’s special….So lets do it in front of everyone? Um yeah, ok.
Wow. I feel like this show is going to be awful. Not everyone who chooses to save sex for marriage are total clueless prudes! I really really hope they are acting.
I dunno, I remember some of the guys I dated in high school thinking that a “passionate” kiss involved opening their mouth as wide as they could and slobbering. Seriously, my eyebrows should not be involved in a kiss.
So I can kind of believe someone who’s never practiced could really be that bad at it.
This is how I imagine zombies would kiss.
Each other that is.
What was up with that stupid eyelash thing?
I believe they’re called ”Butterfly kisses”…
Cute when you’re 5.
When you’re 20 to 30 and engaged…not so much.
Also…Eewww on their first kiss…
Even the guy seems to be like ”Oh God! She’s raping my mouth!”
Not only were we virgins, but my husband and my first kiss (ever, not just to eachother) was after we were declared man & wife.
I believe it.
I saved myself for marriage and our first kiss was on our wedding day. We are Christians and there is nothing weirdly “religious” about it–just Obedient. And I did not chew his face….:D And he did not chew mine either, thankfully! The beauty of waiting, for all you naysayers, is that you get to discover it all together, and have no memories of anything else to corrupt your experience.
Obedient to whom (or Whom) though? Because if you are being obedient to your God, then it is a religious thing, and someone out there is going to find it weird.
I find all religious things weird, sorry.
Oh, I believe their first kiss was on their wedding day. I don’t believe they kissed like that cause of inexperience or exuberance. I believe they put on a show.
My wife and I first kissed at the altar, it was basically a peck on the lips. People are watching, including parents.
When my aunt got married, it was her first kiss too, really more of an awkward peck.
it’s just so awkward.
There’s actually a book called “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” and it advocates “courting”, not dating, and saving your first kiss for when you’re married.
And Josh Harris, the author, now even regrets writing the book. He never intended it to become a movement of legalism for young couples. Christians have a tendency to add extra rules and regulations on top of what the Bible calls for. This is no exception, where his readers took what just happened to worked well for him and his then fiance, and made it the new standard for all “true” Christians.
A book by Dr. Henry Cloud and a colleague of his wrote a book called “Boundaries in Dating” and actually Addresses that one book. “boundaries” was much more fulfilling, and very easy to read and follow. It gives practical advice backed up by the bible and helps both sexes in healthy relationships. They think kissing is a good thing for Christians
and allows the readers to make their own boundaries.
I’ve been kissed like that, by two separate people, and it wasn’t their first time kissing, nor second, nor third… Some people are just bad kissers, so it’s entirely possible that these two really are kissing for the first time…
the thing about this is–you can never unsee that. NEVER.
The thing is, I know two people who did the same thing. They were really Christian, and they did not even kiss until their wedding. I wasn’t there for the wedding, but my parents were, and my mom said they looked really sweet. But all of our minds were blown to know they dated for like 3 years without kissing.
for those who do not believe it could be their first kiss.
the Duggar boy who got married, Josh, it was his and his wife’s first kiss. the one at the altar.
it can happen folks. especially for those who go thru courtship and or even arranged marriages. and not mere dating.
If the first kiss was that awkward, the wedding night is going to be a disaster!
Of course it is – 30 seconds and it will be all over! But then, most people’s first experience is a bit awkward – I just hope the pressure to get it right first time doesn’t ruin their first few hours together!
people who wait to kiss on their wedding day often take it slow on the honeymoon, waiting a few days before actual going all the way.
but I agree with this poster – the first time is always awkward, no matter when it is. as long as you keep practicing, it gets better
That was a terrible kiss so I do believe it was the first one. I agree, the wedding night is going to be awful.
I suppose this is the closest I can get to having an open-mouthed first kiss. Why would you want to try something like that first?
To imagining. I would never want anyone try it.
Om nom nom nom
LOL!
Ewwww. My first kiss was like that. Not at the altar, thank god.
I hate to turn to such ubiquitous Internet slang, but it really fits here: WTF?!
What the frack?!
omg…i think they should have saved their first face eating thing for the wedding night…talk about an awkard wedding memory!and if they continue like that they will never improve
A physical relationship is an important part of any romantic relationship. What happens when they find their prudeness has let them marry someone who they are not physically compatible with? Yes, it happens, I’ve been with people I’m not compatible with and it’s not pleasant. After such experiences we both knew the relationship was over. I also question what’s so special about marriage? What makes them different people the day after marriage than the day before and how is a physical relationship changed by one day?
amen!
RAmen to that! Religious people would argue that their god has then said it is OK for them to get down and dirty – in fact, they are commanded to be fruitful and multiply, so that is why it is different, but the pressure would just be so much! My wedding day was stressful enough as it was without having that at the back of my mind all day!
just because you wait for a certain expression of intimacy (be it kissing or sex) doesnt mean you have no physical compatibility.
also, yes, for “religious” people who believe the they should wait for marriage, what changes is not the people but the marriage. its kinda like, what makes it different if I rent a house and then move in, or if I just happen upon a house and start living there? I am the same, the house is the same – but the act of renting the house makes it ok for me to live there.
on my wedding day, I didnt feel pressured that I “had” to do anything – but I was now free to, if I wanted
“Say honey, did you still need that tooth extracted? Here! Lemme suck it out!”
UGH. Seriously, there have been guys in the past who I have had great relationships with, but when it progressed to the first kiss or sexual encounter, the experience was so bleh that it killed the whole relationship. Some of these naive kids(who probably do NOT believe in divorce) are going to find out too late that they are trapped in a marriage with someone who completely turns them off. What then?
Also, where in the Bible does it say “no premarital kissing”? why do they keep making up rules to make everything harder for themselves?
There are a lot of man-made “rules” made up by Christians with good intentions.
Many “rules” are derived from guidelines that were made up by someone to make suggestions on how to keep people from being tempted to sin.
They sometimes go overboard to an extent that alienates them from society.
I know; I am a Christian.
Er, that’s not to say I follow such man-made rules. I just know I’ve been subjected to them in the past.
And sometimes it’s an issue of who you hang around with and what they might think of you if you don’t follow the rules. Has nothing to do with God.
It makes them feel all “better than you” and smug.
The second time I watched the commercial, and watched it closely, I wondered if perhaps they sped up the film a little…that could make something not so bad look that awful.
I can’t watch the commercial. F BLOCKING!
Trust me, you’re better off not seeing. My stomach turns every time I remember this clip.
I just think it’s odd that they feel the first kiss is so sacred it should be saved for their wedding day, but it isn’t so sacred that they’re unwilling to go on national television to show it off.
This is the best comment I’ve seen so far about this.
agreed.
It may have been their first kiss, but if it were my first kiss ever post wedding vows I would have voted for a closed mouth kiss as that is a pretty public moment. (especially if I was really nervous about getting it right.
I was waiting for the guy to actually EAT her face….let’s hope his technique has improved.
Anyone else notice how even the guests grimaced and kind of looked away? I’d be mortified if that was my first kiss. Kind of reminds me of the movie, “Orgazmo” LOL
too bad their first kiss couldn’t have been a little more classy.
I personally, would want to know how a guy kisses before I commit myself to him. That kiss right there is a deal breaker, as Dr. Phil would say.
Ehh im disturbed….
Kissing is actually an important part of courting. Have you ever thought you would like someone, and then found, upon kissing them, that it felt like kissing your brother/sister? Thre truth is, we have very sensitive smell and taste receptors for people with compatible genetics, that is, the best chance of producing a healty offspring. That is why you love the smell of their sweat, and the taste when you kiss! Its supposed to help us give our children good genes. SO, upon kissing and making your weddiong final, what if you find it unpleasant, because this person is not genetically pleasing to your body? The truth is, that its an important part of a relationship, being physically compatible. If you arn’t then your kids could wind up with problems from unforseen genetic similarities.
Is there actually any scientific research to prove that incompatible smells can cause genetic problems?
I totally agree from the “it just feels wrong and puts you off” point of view, but I haven’t heard of any actual proof of abnormalities?
It’s not “genetic abnormalities” like you might assume, like … I don’t know, extra limbs or something that comes to mind when you think of Hollywood-esque inbreeding or something. However, there IS evidence from many, many studies done over time that look at ties between major histocompatibility complex matches in individuals and their reproductive capacity as well as resultant autoimmune response present in offspring. To put it more simply… we have 6 markers for MCH proteins. The more matching markers 2 people have, the less likely the match is successful as we seek out genetic dissimilarity in our mates (to give our children the most possible immune responses). We discover our levels of marker similarity via smell – we’re more attracted to the smell of individuals with whom we have no or very few markers in common. Youtube “sweaty t-shirt test” for a documentary segment with SIr Robert Winston that gives a good demo of how they study this phenomenon.
Interestingly, the mechanism by which we recognize MCH dissimilarity is negatively affected by the use of hormonal birth control in women and you can end up attracted to men who are very similar (5/6 or 6/6 markers), which can be detrimental to reproductive success.
I know this is a tl;dr response but since I spent a long time writing an undergrad thesis on this topic I’m excited to get to talk about it again, whee! Yay for biological anthropolgy!
Thank you so much for taking the time to write that! It is fascinating!
I certainly will look up the Youtube clip – thanks!
I was on birth control when I met my husband, so I wonder how many markers we have in common – we have 2 kids so I hope I picked well from an immune system point of view, I know I did from a “nice person” point of view!
I love biology – I am a nurse, so all of it fascinates me.
Thanks again for your time!
It was a bit like watching baby birds try and eat the regurgitated mulch from the regurgitating mama bird.
You would think they would have watched kissing scenes — cause it really looks like they didn’t even study the art of kissing — and really, it isn’t that difficult, even a peck! Not a gazillion pecks.. cause that just looked all sorts of awkward!
Oh well, hopefully they enjoyed it — and that is the main thing — enjoying each other in a marriage.
So my uncle is a videographer. He has been hired by over 7 people who have decided to save their first kiss for their wedding. I didn’t believe it at first but it turns out that it is becoming fairly common considering that it is 7 weddings out of a two year span. Some of the people have kissed others before, but in their current relationship they have not ever kissed. It gets rather complicated but it’s true.
As to the people saying they are super religious, my uncle taped one couple that were only spiritual and one atheist couple (who were having a non-traditional ceremony) who had not kissed before.
NOMNOMNOM! well, I feel a lot better about my kissing abilities now. Uggh cannot unsee.
Hahaha – come over here and give us a snog!
I believe this is real, one of my ex’s kissed me like that the first time we kissed. It was extremely awkward & I ended up stopping him halfway through to show him what to do instead of allowing him to suck my face off x.x
This reminds me of the scene in “Dumb and Dumber” when Jim Carrey tried to kiss Lauren Holly by putting his mouth over her entire face, making sucking motions and all but suffocates her. It’s like that, only in reverse, and no one wants to see that. On the wedding day or ever. EVER.
my husband and I did NOT save our first kiss for our wedding day. however, I remember the first time was kinda awkward and not at all like the romantic scenes from movies. we were happy to practice tho *lol* and got much better at it pretty quickly.
we DID save sex for our wedding night, and pretty much the same thing applies – first time was awkward, but it was special because it was the first – and then with practice it got better.
I know a number of people who saved the first kiss for their wedding, and have NEVER seen anything like this clip. I have to assume the couple were acting a bit for the cameras. All the first kisses Ive seen at the altar were loving but tasteful (the receptions… well… maybe that was a little different *lol*)
Many (altho certainly not all) couples who wait to kiss for their wedding day dont necessarily “go all the way” the first night, but enjoy taking their time on the honeymoon.
and in case anyone wonders, yes our decision to wait for sex is consistent with our Christian faith but clearly I dont think all forms of physical affection before the wedding are “sin.”
My first kiss was at the altar, and my hubby MISSED. He kissed my nose.